‘SNL’ Cold Open Roasts Trump’s Hunger Games: ‘I’ll Take ‘Things Pedophile Might Do’ for 1000′ | Video

“Saturday Night Live” kicked off with a holiday message from James Austin Johnson’s Trump this week and, in it, he explained exactly why he’s planning his own Hunger Games.

To kick things off, the faux Trump hugged a Christmas tree, reminding the audience of when he once hugged an American flag, and joking that he’s now doing his own version of the nativity scene, “where Kings from the Middle East bring gifts for me, like gold, and airplane, and casino deal in Dubai!” Eventually, Trump also reminded viewers that he’s planning his own version of “The Hunger Games.”

“That’s right, the White House will be hosting The Patriot Games for high school athletes to compete, because I thought ‘What’s the best way to distract from the Epstein files?'” he said. “I know, invite a bunch of teenagers to my house!”

“I’ll take ‘Things a Pedophile Does’ for 1000, Alex,” he continued. “But you can’t say Alex anymore, right? You got to say Ken.”

The fake Trump did touch on the Epstein files themselves, but only to argue that they actually make him look great, especially with the heavy redactions. In fact, he noted that his renaming of the Kennedy Center this week came in part because he just needed to put his name somewhere.

“You know, people are saying, ‘Sir, why are you putting your name on so many buildings?’ And I say it’s because we had to take it off of so many files!” he said. “Epstein, redacted. We had so many Trumps in there, we had to put them somewhere. You know what I’m saying? We like to say redacted. It’s my second favorite R-word, redacted.

You can watch this week’s full cold open in the video above.

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