I Went to a Longevity-Focused Hotel After Losing My Mom and I Have No Regrets

I was staring at a leaf in a lush garden in Hawaii, trying my best at forest bathing, a Japanese mindfulness practice where you immerse yourself into the forest atmosphere
as a means to de-stress. There were koi ponds and the gentle sound of birds chirping, a serene utopia by design. If ever there was an opportunity to be in the now, it was in this moment. But instead of fully committing to a forest bath, I was accomplishing more of a "forest sprinkle." I was at the Four Seasons's adults-only Sensei Lanai, to learn about longevity through the principles of movement, nourishment, and rest - yet I found myself only partially present. Instead of tuning into my surroundings and the sound of the guide's voice, I was in a non-step battle with racing thoughts.

My mind kept returning to how much I wanted to Facetime my mom and show her a sculpture in the garden that reminded me of her. In the nearly 18 months since she passed away, I found myself reaching for the phone to call or text her - usually, amidst a chaotic day with my two toddlers, when I wanted to ask how she managed to wrangle my sister and me during our early days, or in the middle of an exciting work day when I wanted to share a victory with my biggest cheerleader. Returning to the busyness of these activities would soften the intensity of the sadness that she was no longer with me. But in this visually vivid, but quiet setting, the sadness lingered.

Over the next two days, I attended workouts, tried bodywork therapies, and completed testing to learn about my health. I was getting the ultimate playbook to optimize my wellness for the next few decades. But the focus on longevity had put a spotlight on a boiling thought that my mom's life had been cut short. Could following these practices give me a longer lifespan? I felt hopeful they would, but at the very least, it was comforting to know I was doing everything I could to optimize my health under the guidance of some of the world's leading wellness experts.

My Experience and Takeaways

My stay began with an intention session with Edwardo Williams, a former professional athlete turned exercise physiology guide, who measured and assessed my health metrics, including body fat, muscle mass, and hydration. Having a magnifying lens put up to my slightly neglected health is not the most enjoyable way to begin a trip. But I reminded myself this wasn't a vacation, this was a learning opportunity.

While my skeletal muscle mass was within normal range, he recommended I incorporate more resistance training into my routine. As we age, we lose muscle mass. I stared at a graph of a downward slope, indicating that if I don't start improving my muscle mass, by the time I'm 60, it will be below average. I'd witnessed this firsthand when my mom had lost strength and mobility. Daily tasks like carrying groceries became a challenge. I made a mental note that next time I try to bail on strength-training (which, candidly, was most days of the last three years), I'd force myself to remember that these exercises would help me build my foundation so I could move with ease and independence down the line.

The work included a circuit with mobility and weight exercises to address my strength and posture. The exercises were familiar, and I could do them at home. The session wasn't full of life hacks that only needed to be done once during the trip. Instead, I'd need to meet the movements with consistency when I returned home.

Sensei is known for its innovative featured experiences. Later in the trip I'd do a thermal body mapping and massage, one of the most futuristic tools I've encountered. It uses an exclusive, Sensei-developed thermographic technology to create a visual map of your body, allowing the therapist to target areas of tension. As a marathon runner, I was not surprised to see that my hamstrings and calves were a particularly angry shade of red. The criss-cross pattern of tension in my left calf, right hamstring, and right hip has been a constant source of pain. The tension in my neck and throat caught me a bit more off-guard and was due to my poor posture. But the massage focused on opening my shoulders and relaxing my legs. It was the release and reality check my body needed.

To further relieve my muscles, I also tried out an Aquatic bodywork session. Unlike anything I'd experienced before, it was a stretching, massage, and sound bath while floating. I spent the first portion trying not to think about how I was going to fit my new strength regime into my daily routine, before I finally let go of the analytical side of my brain. There was an irony in finding the rest-related activities the most challenging. If strength training had been a low priority, mindfulness hadn't even made it on the to-do list. It was a clear sign I would need to incorporate it more when I return home.

As I concluded my trip, I left with tools to be healthier now and in the future. While I know that wellness doesn't guarantee a longer life, I came away with an appreciation that, if I stay consistent with the takeaways from this trip I may get more quality from those years.

While I initially sought out this experience to learn from experts about my objective health metrics, the focus on mindfulness forced to me reflect on how I was doing internally. To sit with the sadness and know that it may never completely fade. To accept that I feel scared about my own mortality and to hopefully, use that as a motivation to stay consistent with the elements of my health that are within my control.

Genevieve Farrell Roston (she/her) is an award-winning filmmaker and the director of video at PS. She oversees the Webby-nominated PS Fit video series, which makes fitness fun and accessible. She has more than 10 years of experience in the entertainment industry. A certified personal trainer, she loves running, Pilates, and rest days. As a mom of two, she is an avid reviewer of children's gear and products.